BREAKING NEWS!

This is an article I wrote for my friend Meg who is expecting a sweet lil baby in the next few weeks.  Really compelling stuff!

Best Dads on TV

Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there. In honor of you I made a list of my favorite TV dads. 

10. Henry Mornimont: Punky Brewster’s adopted dad.

Why he is an awesome dad: Punky had a pretty rough go of it when her parents abandoned her in a Chicago department store, talk about some shitty parental moves. Luckily she found Henry, a grouchy old widower who did photography while managing an apartment building and together they became a family. On a side note, did anyone know her actual name was Penelope? Am I the only one who really didn’t know this? He loved and accepted her even though she dressed like a member of the Sugar Hill gang and proved to people that a good father has little to do with biology.

Potential Daddy Issues: He was pretty old, hopefully he made it into Punky’s twenties, otherwise she may have developed the kind of daddy issues that involve a pole.

9. Fred Flinstone: The Flinstones

Why he is an awesome dad: Sure, Fred could be the occasional hot head, and yeah, he could be a little selfish at times and fine, okay, he is, you know… a cartoon. Despite these character flaws, if you think about it he really loved Pebbles and Wilma. He even worked at his fingers to the bone working for slave driver Mister Slate at that construction job. Fred makes the list because aside from being a great dad (had tons of fun with his baby girl), he was a good husband (Wilma always rocked those huge pearls), friend (I never once seen him hit on Betty even though she was super hot) and a great bowler (see above).

Potential Daddy Issues:  Their pet Dino seemed to outsmart him an awful lot, Pebbles could have done a lot of bedrockin’ with Bam Bam when puberty hit.

8. Russell Huxtable: The Cosby Show

Why he is an awesome dad: How could I not include the eldest member of the Huxtable clan? Not only was he the dad of the dad, he was always around to dole out advice to the family, provide witty banter and enjoyed the occasional Ray Charles sing a long.

Potential Daddy Issues: Was so cool and hip, his son got an inferiority complex, became a doctor and wore huge sweaters; he wasn’t even trying to be ironic.

7. Ricky Ricardo- I Love Lucy

Why he is an awesome dad: Ricky and Lucy were the first interracial couple to be showcased on television and of course were married to each other in real life.  Desi may not have been the best dad in real life, but onscreen he was pretty cool. Any kid would think it was neat to have a dad who was a handsome Cuban musician who could scold you in broken English or rapid Spanish.

Potential Daddy Issues: The cool thing mentioned with number 8 and I am sure having a dad who was working all night and a mom always trying to get in on the fun left you with a whole lot of time getting to know Fred and Ethel.

6.Ned Stark- Game of Thrones

Why he is an awesome dad: He was basically a badass who is respected by even the scariest of degenerates in all of Kings Landing. He taught his children by example and was always noble. Really though, what child wouldn’t think him a saint when looking at other fathers like Tywin Lannister.  Shit, I thought my dad was hard to please.

Potential Daddy Issues (SPOILER ALERT):  Maybe he was too good a dad. Once he died, Rob helped start a war, Ariya is a hostage of sorts getting increasingly hard to sell off, Brandon is dragging his brother and their servants all over the damned place following his dreams like he is Axel Rose or something and John Snow joined some kind of cult where they dress like yetis and climb rock walls made of ice. Don’t even get me started on Sansa who was starting to become a real Judy by thinking the Knight of Flowers was “OMG like so dreamy” for having dreamt up every detail of his wedding, aside from the whole thing about marrying a woman. Thank God she married that midget otherwise she may have walked in on the Knight of Flowers during some unusual swordplay if you know what I mean.

5. Fred G. Sanford- Sanford and Son

Why he is an awesome dad: He did the best with what he could to provide for his son and give him the family business. At his finest he was charming and hilarious, at his worst he was grumpy mean and insulted you until you cried. Regardless, he always loved Lamont and even though he would never admit it, he liked Esther too.

Potential daddy issues: With a dad who always guilt trips you with faking a heart attack, I would imagine one would tend to crack under a lot of pressure.

4. Perry Cox- Scrubs

Why he is an awesome dad: Dr. Cox may have had a tough exterior but inside he was just a big ol’ teddy bear there to offer his help and advice to JD, even if it meant mentoring him with tough love. Even though he lived to salt people’s game and could be a macho jerk, he was always a good dad to his kids and was even the nicer parent compared to Jordan.

Potential daddy issues: Personality traits made it very likely for him to become the kind of dad that has a minor heart attack when his child is not the best at everything. That kind of pressure from a dad often results in a child who likes to wear capes and enjoys LARPING. *

3. Eric Taylor- Friday Night Lights

Why he is an awesome dad:  Eric Taylor is Ned Stark if Ned Stark was born in modern times and instead of a badass warrior, he coached high school football. Everyone loved Coach Taylor, he was a man of his word who worked hard, had love for his players and did his best not to get caught up in the bureaucracy of Dillon High’s pushy football worshiping citizens.  Plus, who could resist those eyes, that accent, that hair! Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.

Potential daddy issues: Constantly brought around handsome football players and got upset when Julie wanted to marry one. He will always be half listening to you unless you are talking about football and finally, when your dad is so well loved and both of your parents are super hot it could cause you to do something silly for attention. Something like drive your car into a mailbox so you wont have to go back to school and face the backlash from sleeping with a married teachers aide. Tear clouded eyes, broken hearts, can lose, pretty badly too, like, online college bad.

2. Andy Taylor- The Andy Griffith Show

Why he is an awesome dad: A widowed Sherriff in the small town of Mayberry who was easy on the eyes, could play the guitar and had the voice of an angel. Even though he was pretty busy keeping Mayberry safe and dating a bevy of lovely women, he always made time to hang out with Opie. He even got him out of an arranged marriage with hillbillies once. You are totally whistling the theme song right now aren’t you?

Potential daddy issues: It is never fun when your hot dad dates your hot teacher, but what is worse is when he is the sheriff you don’t have a lot of room to get in trouble. For instance Opie was always terrified when he did something wrong, remember when he killed that bird by accident and raised its babies? He was like 8 at the time, most grown men in that situation would have bailed.

1. Heathcliff Huxtable- The Cosby Show

Why he is the MOST awesome dad: Cliff Huxtable was kind of an early prototype for today’s modern father. He worked from home most of the time (boy how did that go over when he first started out? Ladies, come for a pap smear, I practice medicine from the basement of my house) and his wife was a successful career woman, which he was totally in favor of. Dr. Huxtable rocked big bulky sweaters, loved to dance, hang out with his kids and I am guessing always had a pudding pop or two to offer to Rudy’s friends.  He also was a stern yet fair disciplinarian who helped his kids learn tough life lessons while always being there for them. Even with all of this going on, he still found the time to give Claire his sweet, sweet loving on the reg. Seriously, those two had sex all the time.

Potential daddy issues: Having two very successful parents can give children a complex or two. The perfect example was Denise, she kind of became this free spirit and went off the rails for a while, then she got a spinoff, wouldn’t give Dwayne Wayne the time of day and didn’t even graduate from Hillman...did she? She didn't, right?

So, there you have it, my favorite TV dads. There were some that were very hard to leave out of my list like Phil Dunphy, Jay Pritchett, Herman Munster and the guys from My Two Dads, (which I am almost certain will be remade into a show about two gay dads who refuse to know which ones sperm won) who were all awesome dads despite not making my top ten. Who are some of your favorite TV dads?

*No offense to my friends who LARP