Goodbye 30 Rock

Goodbye 30 Rock

Tonight is the last episode of 30 Rock.  I am very sad about this because it is one of my all time favorite shows, but as they say, all good things must come to an end. Not only did 30 Rock have some of the best and sharpest writing on TV, it also had a great cast that could have easily overshadowed one another but somehow managed to work together and look best as a whole. I have spent countless hours watching this show and even though I already know the jokes they still manage to crack me up. So in honor of the series finale, I thought I would share  some of my all time favorites that have kept me laughing over and over again.

The Break Up

In this episode Liz Lemon decides she has to break up with Dennis Duffy, her dirt bag boyfriend whose occupational title is "The Beeper King." The hilarity ensues when Jenna tries to take her out drinking and Dennis claims her apartment due to squatters rights, which eventually leads to the best breakup acceptance letter of all time:

Dear Liz Lemon: While other women have bigger boobs than you, no other woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us, and for the first time since the '86 World Series, I cried... I cried like a big, dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we'd be together forever, but there is this new thing called "women's liberation", which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with. So tonight, when you arrive home, I'll be gone. I officially renounce my squatters rights.

Any girl should be so lucky right? Then Liz kicks him out when he is featured on an episode of "To Catch a Predator." Dennis Duffy played by Dean Winters, managed to make it into at least one episode of every season and rightly so, every single line of his is hilarious.

Corporate Crush



Liz finally lands a boyfriend who doesn't demand squatter's rights and  isn't featured on "To Catch a Predator." Floyd DeBarber (which I am assuming is an Andy Griffith Show reference) is so amazing even Jack becomes smitten with him, so much so Liz feels as though he is taking up too much of his time. When told by Liz to back off and get his own Floyd he begins to date a "British" art curator named Pheobe, who has "Avian Bone Syndrome" which means she has hollow bones, like a bird. This is a great episode all around but the best part  is when Tracy, upon finding out he is a descendant of Thomas Jefferson, decides to make a bio pic in which he stars in all of the parts. When initially being met with a no, Tracy and his entourage make their own short  to convince the CEO of GE, Don Geiss to fund the film. 

Black Tie 

The show has had tons of guest starts, but my second favorite behind Dennis might be Isabella Rossellini as Jack's ex wife Bianca.  In this episode, Jack and Liz attend the birthday party for Prince Gerhardt Habsberg, a Prince played by Paul Rubens who has many disfigurements like a baby hand due to "centuries of inbreeding." When seeing Bianca, Jack panics and tells her that Liz is his girlfriend, which causes Bianca to loose her shit. I also included  the second clip below which is  from the episode following "Black Tie" but it is too hilarious to not include here.

Greenzo

 In honor of "Green Week" at NBC Jack comes up with an environmental superhero named Greenzo (played by David Schwimmer) who not only wants to save the environment but is no hurdle to big business. Unfortunately for Jack, once Greenzo's ego is inflated by Meri (sorry everyone, that's Meredith Viera) he begins to take his job a little too seriously "what is in that styrofoam cup, the earth's blood?" 
While this is going on Traci decides to help Kenneth's annual party get attendees by spreading rumors  that TI will be there, foxy boxing and a preformance by Fall Out Boy. This of course gets out of hand and the cast must face the harsh realities of the day.

Subway Hero

Dennis Duffy makes his triumphant return when he saves someone from being killed on the Subway.  Jack convinces Liz to have him on TGS being that the “Subway Hero” is now the toast of New York.  Exonerated from his To Catch a Predator mishap, “I knew that  girl was eighteen. She told me her last boyfriend was Asian, and that crap doesn't start until college," Dennis decides to win Liz back. Liz eventually realizes that she does have a strange attraction to him and easily falls for his antics, “We’re like Ross and Rachel” Dennis tells her, “only not gay.”  Convinced by Jenna to get him out of her life once and for all, Liz turns down a public proposal by Dennis who then let’s her know she is missing out, informing  her any girl would be so lucky to be in her place, “Last night a stripper offered to give me a squeezer, a WHITE stripper.” Dennis, of course burns through his fifteen minutes of fame, leaves the Stanley Cup on a water taxi and is replaced on TGS by a parrot who saved its owner by dialing 911 and yelling “fire” but only because he didn't know the word for rape. Many times I have strutted around my house and proclaimed “Check this out Jeter you think you’re better than me?” Raise the roof.

Sandwich Day

One of the things I have in common with Liz Lemon is that you do not mess with her food, this is why I love this episode. When agreeing to let Floyd crash on her couch for the night when he is back in New York, she is determined to look like she is the one who got away. When Floyd finally meets up with her she is beautifully lit in a stunning red dress and wind flowing through her hair. Floyd, taking the bate, asks her is she wants to go to “that rib joint you puked at,” “you’ll have to be more specific” she replies.  After a lovely evening, things go sour between the two when Floyd’s flight gets canceled and Liz realizes he has been spreading himself all over Cleveland.  She then tells him she hopes his car blow up and storms off.

  Back in studio 6H it is Sandwich Day, which is when the Teamsters deliver delicious sandwiches from a secret Teamster hangout to the entire cast and crew.  Tempted by its deliciousness, the writers decide to eat Liz’s untouched sandwich, even though they know Liz has Hulk like rage when it comes to someone touching her food (I've been there).  This  blows up in their face and Liz threatens to cut them all up so bad they will have chins unless they find a way to get her a sandwich. Kenneth, Tracy, Jenna, Lutz and Frank are then forced to compete in a drinking contest against the Teamsters to get her another sandwich. Finally, after she feels bad about her blowup with Floyd, she follows him to the airport and apologizes, hoping they can remain friends, but not before she is forced to wolf down her Teamster sub with the dipping sauce because it is over 3 ounces and does not want to throw it away. “I can do it!” she mumbles with a full mouth “I can have it all!”

Senor Macho Solo

Selma Hayek guest stars as Jack’s Love interest Elisa Pedrera, who plays his mother’s nurse. Concerned with a lump on his testicle, Jack finds comfort in the arms of the beautiful Elisa. Meanwhile, in Liz’s world she agrees to a date with a midget played by Peter Dinklage after mistaking him for a little boy and pats him on the head.  As Jack and Liz are moving forward in the romance department, Jack convinces Tracy to write a post-nup agreement to make sure his wife Angie doesn't take all his money if they ever get divorced. Angie begrudgingly signs it stating “I’m never gonna divorce you Tracy Jordan, I’m gonna watch you die.” “She’s done it before Jack!” exclaims Tracy as he rips up the post-nup and proceeds to making passionate love to his wife on Jack’s desk.  

This episode isn't necessarily one of my favorites because of the action but more because it is just moment after moment of hilariousness.  For instance, Jack tracks down Elisa at a Quinceanera, encouraged to join the party, he is handed a baby with pierced ears and a plate of food. This scene always cracks my husband up because this exact same thing has happened to him when coming to an event thrown by my Mexican family. 

Verna

Jenna’s mom, played by Jan Hooks comes up from Florida to visit. Uptight because of her stage mom antics, Jenna confides in Jack that she is worried Verna only wants money. While Jack is trying to teach Jenna how to say no to her mother, Frank moves in with Liz and both decide to break their bad vices (Frank with smoking, Liz with eating junk food) and to see which one can outlast the other.  Jan Hooks has some of the most hilarious lines in this episode, for your viewing pleasure I have listed them below.

“Wear something nice. Like a pair of white jeans and a Dan Marino jersey.”

“Nice office, Jack. I feel like I'm in the Martha Stewart section of K-Mart.”

“Yeah, this show will have laughter. Tears. Topless arguments. Infections caused by jacuzzi water!”

At one point she mentions she has a tattoo of a Mermaid, Doing it with Capitan Morgan. So good, so, so good.

I do have to admit that after season four the show slowed down a bit but it always stayed sharp. Below are my two favorite later episodes.

 Queen of Jordan

This whole episode is done in the style of a reality show like Real Housewives. Tracy’s wife Angie finally gets her own show and the rest of the cast is all too eager to be part of the action. There isn’t much more I can say about the episode other than “Don’t tell me I can’t sing what the fuck have you ever done? Who the fuck are the Beatles?”

Mazel Tov, Dummies!

The episode begins with Liz waiting to see if a pregnancy test is positive or negative while her boyfriend offers his moral support "If it's positive, awesome! We're having a baby. I wanna name it Frisbee. If it's negative, awesome. We're not gonna fight about the name Frisbee, and we get disco fries for breakfast, because we are sad." Best. Boyfriend. Ever. They ended up getting disco fries. On a side note, what are disco fries and how do I get them?

In what might be his final appearance on the show (please God let him be on the final episode), Liz bumps in to Dennis Duffy and see’s that he is married and has adopted a baby with his wife who they affectionately named Black Dennis.

 Liz: His name is Black Dennis? That is racist!

 Dennis: Yeah right Liz, the guy with the black son's racist.

Liz learns through Dennis that she has a better chance of adopting if she is married. After a series of immature jokes she and her boyfriend Criss (played by the smoking hot James Marsden) decide to get married. The rest of the episode is basically Liz trying to convince everyone that she doesn't care about having a wedding and doesn't wish to be the princess that every girl wants to be on her big day. She even looks back at her young self as a flower girl (played by her  super cute daughter, Alice) rolling her eyes at the happy couple. Finally, she comes to terms with the fact that it is a big day and Jack pulls some strings to get Tony Bennett to sing at their courthouse nuptials while the Duffy family provides moral support.  My favorite part of the episode is when Liz shows up to the courthouse dressed as Princess Leia. "I'm a princess," she says proudly. And all dorky little girls wept tears of joy.

So there you have it, some of my favorite episodes. Sadly this list doesn't even scratch the surface of how great this show really was, but I am glad I have the re- runs but will really miss it.  I can't wait to see what Tina Fey comes up with next, Blurgh!

Vision and Reality: When the Two Do Not Match

Do you ever have a situation where you envision a scenario one way, then it takes place and in no way did it look or feel like the way you'd pictured it in your head?  This happens to me a lot. I can’t help but try to fight the fact that sometimes it is just better in your head then how it really plays out. Whenever I am about to go to important events I tell myself that I will be charming and charismatic. I will be a gracious host or guest and an interesting conversationalist. I will not spend time feeling insecure or agitated but that confidence will radiate through my pores and I will make appropriate eye contact. I will stand up straight so that it won’t get awkward when people do that thing where they look at my hunch and perk themselves up. I look in the mirror and plead with myself: "please do not do that tangent thing that you constantly do when talking to people. Focus on what you are saying, get to the point, brevity is the soul of everything!" "You can do this" I tell myself as I walk out the door, "just be yourself, but not too much of yourself."

Unfortunately, it usually doesn't go that way.

There is a great scene from the film 500 Days of Summer that perfectly encompasses this notion.  Basically, Joseph Gordon-Levitz’s character, Tom is having a hard time getting over Summer, played by Zooey Deschanel. Summer, hoping the two can be friends post breakup invites him over to a dinner party. Once Tom gets to the gate of Summer’s apartment the screen splits in two, one side shows expectations, the other shows reality. Expectation shows Tom being a charismatic guy who is doing everything right, so much so that he eventually gets back the girl. Unfortunately, in the reality of the situation he finds himself disengaged and isolated. He can’t seem to get a moment alone with the woman he so desperately wants to be alone with and can’t get in the same rhythm as the rest of the guests. Eventually, he realizes that not only is she not interested in getting back together with him, she is actually engaged to someone else. Reality trumps over expectation.

I tried to find the entire scene but the only one I could find was that small clip.  If that example doesn’t drive it home for you, or is just too depressing, here is a hilarious bit by Katt Williams about how after wanting a motorcycle for years, his dreams finally come to fruition.

The interesting thing about the two clips is that the concept of the ladder is more depressing than the former. If you strip it down, the 500 Days of Summer clip is essentially about not getting what you want, whereas the Katt Williams bit is about getting what you want and it not being as good as you thought it was going to be. That is way worse to me. 

I guess January has me thinking about all these expectations we set for ourselves in the New Year. This is the year I will lose weight, this is the year I’ll find that job I have always wanted, this is the year I will find the motivation I have always needed to be a better father, wife, brother, employee, parishioner , ect, ect, ect.  We always begin something new with the best of intentions but somewhere along the line (usually February for me) reality has taken over. Why is that I wonder? As adults are we given so many responsibilities that we refuse to fight or work for the results we had hoped for? Shouldn't we let ourselves continue to hope that it is possible for our expectations to align with reality? Or that getting what we want will be everything we had hoped for and more?  Shouldn't I believe that someday I will be able to tell a story from start to finish without seeing someone’s eyes glaze over?

The answer is YES, we should. Maybe I have been listening to Jillian Michaels too much, or perhaps those years of watching Oprah with the babysitter have finally clicked in my mind, but in 2013 my only resolution is to let myself expect that something new could happen, that my hopeful expectations occasionally will match with reality. Maybe most of the time they wont, but that is okay at least I tried, at least we let ourselves have the fantasy instead of just accepting the reality.  

Good luck to you with your resolutions, the best part about them is that if they don't work out, there is always next year!