Born This Way or Fathers and Daughters

I have always been a chubby girl, always.There is not one time in my life where I can look back and remember being thin. In fact, I think I have been on one long continuous failing diet since the fourth grade.  My mom and dad love to tell a story about how when I was a baby, I was too chubby to fit into a heart monitor machine for toddlers so the doctor was forced to find another way to see if I had some kind of heart problem. This funny little incident coupled with the fact that my mom refused to wear tank tops because carrying me around gave her huge muscles before mom muscles were cool, branded me with the lifelong loving nickname of Chub.  Yes you read that right, Chub. Some dads call their daughters princess or sweet pea, my dad nicknamed me Chub.

I had the look of discontent from a very early age. Notice my stylish mom and her sleeves.

Many times I can remember being out in public and my hearing my dad calling for me from across a room.This was especially damaging because the volume in which my father speaks is equivalent to that of a banshee.  Strangers have often stopped me with an incredulous look to ask "what is your name?" I just walked away and used the embarrassment to become funny. Both parents have tried to convince me the name grew out of love but I really think it was my dads form of revenge. I say this because the doctors told my mom she was pregnant with a boy, so for nine months my macho man dad sea walked everywhere thinking he had displayed the ultimate form of masculinity by impregnating his lady with a boy. Unfortunately the day before his 24th birthday he was gravely disappointed when I made my screaming entrance into the world complete with ten fingers, ten toes and a vagina. Not only would the poor guy have to share birthday weekends with me for the rest of his life, but all of that Raider shit he bought was useless now. Minutes old, I was already deifying my old man and he had to settle the score. For the last 27 years it has been an ongoing battle, but I pretty much lost because he got his son (also known as the golden child or the miracle baby) four years later.

My pops and I. We both love to pose.